Course Description: makeup tension shopping 101

welcome to makeup tension shopping 101, students.

Is everyone in the best class?


(Waits for a couple people to sneak out of the room…)

Превосходно! now then, in this course we’ll be talking about a tool in every harried pet assistant’s arsenal (among other busy professionals). It’s a technique in widespread use today and has grown increasingly effective as life has become much more complicated and hectic.

I typically employ it myself, as my other job — working as the assistant to one of the world’s top plus-size kitty supermodels — can be quite stressful.


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How stressful? Well, remember Meryl Streep’s character in The Devil Wear’s Prada? Yeah, my employer is like that on a good day.

There’s a word for it — anyone? Yes, you there in the back with your hand raised.


Точно! Yes, tension shopping can be a powerful tool, but with terrific power comes terrific responsibility…

Here are five suggestions to get the most from your tension shopping sessions.

1. No baskets

Don’t get a basket. Seriously, if you see a harried-looking lady covered in cat hair at Sephora awkwardly carrying hella products in her hands, FYI — that would be me.

I always try to remember this one. The logic goes like this: without a basket, I can only carry so much in my hands.

Because believe you me, with a basket, I will fill that thing until it runneth over! and that’s dangerous…

It’s a low-tech trick, but it typically keeps me from overspending (usually).

2. In person rather than online

Speaking of low-tech methods, I find that it’s always better for me to tension shop in person rather than online.

First, there’s the instant gratification (no need to wait for things to ship).

Second, I don’t know about you, but those virtual shopping baskets are DANGEROUS! — because I will fill them to their virtual brims, and then spend way too much time trying to justify the purchase.

I think it’s simpler to control myself when I tension shop in person…maybe because I see what’s in front of me, instead of just chucking things into a virtual basket.

3. Leave the credit report card at home, and shop with cash

Another simple, yet incredibly effective method. If I don’t have the cash on hand to purchase that umpteenth stick of brown eyeliner (ya know?!), then I can’t get it. That’s the rule.

4. Make an appointment for a particular time

When I can, I like to schedule a lunch, coffee date with a pal or an appointment for right away after a tension shopping session. That way, I only have a set amount of time to shop (and less time to talk myself into purchasing much more stuff).

5. Go by yourself

Знаю, знаю. It’s much more fun to go shopping with a friend, especially when you’re tension shopping, because then you can b*tch about your boss while you’re picking out lipsticks (Shh… Don’t tell Tabs I said that.).

Thing is, when I shop with someone else, especially a makeup junkie pal, we egg each other on (“You need this in your life!!”). just like that, I’m over budget.

Going by myself may not be as fun, but it’s way better for my wallet.

New handcrafted accessories

Yesterday on my walk with El Hub we ran into some young entrepreneurial girls selling these handcrafted rubber bracelets in our neighborhood. They had a small table set up on a street corner like a lemonade stand.

I asked the girls how much they wanted for one of the bracelets, and one of them said, “They’re between 20 and 50…”

El Hub and I were both thinking (but didn’t say out loud), “20 and 50 dollars!? holy SH*T!”

But then the girl added the word, “cents.” РЖУ НЕ МОГУ!

We ended up getting three for a buck, and the girls were over the moon.


Did you ever have any corner stands like that when you were kid? I always wanted a lemonade stand but was way too shy to actually get the wheels in motion.

Your friendly neighborhood charm addict,


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